With which game, though? The killer DS app Dawn of Sorrow? Curse of Darkness, starring a popular character from the show? The very first game in the chronology, Lament of Innocence, or the very first game, period? Well, friends, I marshalled my usual excellent priorities to tackle...the Game Boy titles. (Um, though I guess the neon green gives that away.)

I actually finished the first two previous Game Boy titles a couple years ago. I have more extensive notes somewhere, in some woebegone file, but what I remember is that I concluded Adventure was just too rough to matter and miserable to continue, and about Belmont's Revenge: a) it was solid; b) I liked the Mega Man gimmick with the themed castles, though I wished more were done with it and the levels were more extensive; c) I liked how Debussy's exacting "Passepied" was used to great effect as a final level theme, bringing Debussy to my attention as one of the few classical composers whose work doesn't (I'm sorry) bore me; and d) the final boss battle took more time than the entire rest of the game.

More recently (in a relative sense), I took advantage of the Halloween update to Switch Online to polish off Castlevania Legends. While I'm prepared to write a more complete article on this title, I note most of my opinions are reflected in this piece by the estimable VGJunk. My overall view is that it's really a nothing game. It has a number of original ideas, but it doesn't build on them, and very little comes of them. It's not a disgrace to the Castlevania name; it just is not remarkable in any way that you identify with Castlevania games. Which I suppose means that it is a disgrace? Not worthy of the name in a low-key manner, I suppose. Very, very soft disowning, though. It's one step above being a Castlevania game in the way, say, a Tiger game with the Castlevania license is. It has the aesthetic, but the guts and soul aren't fully there.

It doesn't know how to design smartly-hard encounters in the mien of Castlevania, so it settles for being persistently annoying. The respawn rate is wholly unreasonable - move a pixel, and defeated foes reappear. As VGJunk notes, it loves having enemies who home in above you, where you can't hit. And there's no escalation of difficulty; the game just keeps on being persistently annoying. As with the original Seiken Densetsu on this platform, there's big "just put a bunch of fuckin' blocks here" energy, where the developers want to expand their Game Boy title beyond the platform's typical scope but don't have the design chops to know how to do that.

The bosses, on the other hand, are generally cake. The is the easiest incarnation Death ever; he just jumps from side to side in an arc safely above you and chucks a scythe over your head occasionally. As for the "Owwww!" incarnation of Alucard, you can get the boy caught in a pattern like money.

The jumping is bad. Every jump is in the vein of the last stage of Castlevania Chronicles has to be with one of Sonia's feet off the surface. I died more to jumping over standard pits or onto ropes that anything else. This is why Belmonts shouldn't wear high-heeled boots. It's a good thing we never had to play Trevor when he went through his own high-heels phase. Wait, is he an extra mode in Curse of Darkness? ...Dammit.

The special abilities seem like patches for certain problems whose implications for the rest of the game the developers didn't wholly think through. OK, it's Stage 3; we want to make things harder now. Hold on, we made the enemies too annoying. Well, just give players a healing spell. Wait, isn't that unbalancing? Well, I dunno; just make fewer candles then, I guess. Sonia also has Burning Mode, a special meter you can activate once per life that makes her invincible and gives double damage, which I imagine would have broken the game near-completely if I had ever run into enough resistance to remember to use it. (I think I used it on Drac, though.) Why didn't you hand that down to your descendants, O Venerable Matriarch? I'm sure Juste would have been happy to exploit it, along with the rest of his 37 superpowers.

Again, it's not a bad few hours if you have Nintendo Switch Online. "It's not bad" is probably the most damning thing you can say about it, in the good and bad senses. The delights are found in smaller elements:

Those of you who have taken note of any of the half-finished projects littered throughout this site might note that I have no shortage of worthwhile things to do. I have to make a proper scan of that Ghost Head manga. I need to tend to a number of things for the Angelique translation project. I have that Actraiser manga to summarize, which is miserable but historical, sort of. I have a number of half-finished posts for this site, and a number of half-finished translations for my other one. I'm in the middle of Super Mario Wonder. I have an entire three-year-old list of games to which I've been meaning to get that I've been neglecting.

So what did I spend a great deal of my recent time playing?

Yes. I'd run across the perjorative descriptor of "Kemco RPG," seemingly referring to a no-effort, mass-produced RPG rife with in-app purchases and pandering to retro tastes, in reading Shaun Musgrave's exhaustive work detailing Switch releases at TouchArcade. I had no first-hand experience with the material, however, nor any desire to correct that deficiency. Then, after Kemco made some sort of milestone news by announcing a celebratory collection of 50 of these titles, I ran across this thread, in which the poster (who has also detailed his experiences going through every game in a few of those 100-in-1 cheapo handhelds you see at Walgreen's) talked about how he had played through of these allegedly-shovelware titles and actually enjoyed quite a few of them.

While heartfelt, that wasn't quite enough of an endorsement for someone with Dragon Age and Tales of Phantasia still on her plate, but I was again piqued by the seemingly self-consciously dumb premise of the story for Wizards of Brandel, which I'd also encountered on TouchArcade. So I decided this would be my point of contact with this evident mountain fo garbage; it went on sale for the Switch; and I bit. And I finished it. While Dragon Age and Tales of Phantasia remain unplayed. This makes it the perfect game to represent my 2023.

I was poking around the Visual Novel Database recently, and in looking up the Angelique series, I came across an intriguingly unfamiliar entry:

Ignore the fact that most of these games aren't actually visual novels; it's the highlighted title with the Engrish name that has our attention. ANGELIQUE-far from mind of the calls-, likely meant as something like Far from the Heart of the Call, or Far from the Beckoning Hearts. (Yearning Hearts Torn Asunder?) Clicking the title brings up a bizarre discovery:

Spelling aside, I recognize those character names, but not those titles: the Beautiful Devil, the Ruler in the Dark. The pencil-sketch box art and "[unofficial] Angelique" label, however, reveal that this (if it exists - see below) is a fan game, one of which I hadn't previously heard. Furthermore, the VNDB listing has a link to an archive.org capture of the game's homepage:

I am a Queen.
I hear the voice of the Holy Beast, cultivate a universe, and watch over it from day to day, together with my Aide...
The day it happened was a day like any other...in which I was cultivating my new universe!

But, that day...in my office, I heard a voice in my mind.
Saying to me: "Help us...help those of us still screaming in the dark."
It sounded familiar to me, brought back memories...but I scarcely had the thought before I was flung to another land.

There...I found the age where Leviath and his subordinates were fighting a revolution, still in their original forms.
I, Angelique, know nothing...I am at the mercy of fate.
What will become of me?...I'm so, so scared!


This is an alternate story based on the idea of "Emperor" Leviath meeting Angelique in another form.
A tale of Queen Angelique being flung to the planet of Armis in the past, near the Imperial capital.
Lost in a world with Sacrea but no need for a Queen, the girl happens across Leviath's path.
(Naturally, this means there's no Arios. Don't get your hopes up.)

The page calls it a "mixed-media alternate-universe game," a "novel game with romance" "scheduled for production." A page with further details talks about the two discs as if they're separate scenarios - seemingly, one from Collet's point PoV, one from Leviath's. Here's the Beautiful Devil:

In a flash...a girl is summoned to another world. She is a goddess...one who beckons victory for Leviath and his subordinates.
She is unaware, however, that Leviath wishes to use the Queen's power only for revenge.
What is destined to become of her, then? It all depends on you.

And the Ruler in the Dark:

Leviath finds a girl who seeks help from him as if by instinct...and who is the image of his dead lover.
Upon meeting her, Leviath plots to deceive her...then eliminate her.
Can the darkness in Leviath's heart ultimately be dispelled?

An otome Zapping System? Perhaps not really - I doubt Collet was going to have to decide whether to forgo the machine gun or side pack to save them for Leviath later - but we all like to say "Zapping System."

Based on the scant single sample page archive.org has managed to save (of Collet waking up in an unfamiliar environment in a rainstorm), it seems that the game was intended to be akin to an HTML-based CYOA, with hand-drawn illustrations above text and clickable choices. It was also intended to have voice acting, with the promo page listing actors slated for Leviath and his knights. Oddly, a number of VAs were slated to appear in both scenarios but voicing totally different characters: Leviath's VA in the Beautiful Devil, for example, is listed as voicing Walter in the Ruler in the Dark, with Walter's actor in Devil shifting in Ruler to...Eugene. Cain's VA in the former was to voice Gerhard in the latter... I don't know why you would have your VAs switch roles, much less to characters who are drastically different in personality.

The website offered a trial zipped in .lzh format, but it doesn't seem to have been saved - archive.org offers an .lzh from the download link, but it's only a fraction of the trial's listed size, and it doesn't unzip.


The planned, or eventual, cover art.

The game is by a studio called Rosy Poison, professed by its page to have also been producing a small number of original games. None of those titles, though, seem to have come to fruition - the latest news from their page (which is still up, incidentally) lists all its games as still "in production." The archive.org captures of the webpage run from Jan. 2002 to Apr. 2003. The Angelique doujin game was listed as to have been offering a trial in "February of next year" (meaning, at the time: 2003, though this page lists it as 2002), with the games following in "June of next year" (again, 2003; again, same disclaimer with that page); looking ahead to that time reveals no news.

It was at this point that I remembered the era in which these announcements were made. In the early popularization of the internet, in the mid to late '90s, with the dawn of emulation and folks dissecting the elements (sprites, maps, etc.) that created the commercial games we loved, many enterprising fans took these resources, combined them with internet's democratization of software distribution and programming educational materials, and tried to make fanfic sequels and spin-offs and tributes to the games they adored. I recall the numerous Phantasy Star fangame projects out there, all of which evinced a lot of love for PS, and a lot of creativity and enthusaism, but which didn't have great track records for bringing their visions to fruition. 2002–2003 would've been a little past that period, and it seems like Rosy Poison was really futzing around with webpages and digital media rather than any stuff involving game engines proper (the game was, the studio says, originally conceived as an HTML choose-your-own-adventure hosted on the web), but the point is: getting big projects past the finish line is hard (see my backlog of stalled translation projects and attempts to LP Angelique games), and this wouldn't be the first time around this era that a team's ambition and love for a franchise outstripped its ability to put out a finished product.

So if I had to put money on the question, I'd bet that these games probably don't exist in a finished form. But my questions extend past what we have on archive.org...to the existence of the VNDB listing itself. Who put this listing up? How did someone get wind of this title? Other Angelique titles have VNDB entries dating back almost ten years, with the more recent games listed somewhat near their release dates (Tenshi no Namida) or a few years after (Retour). Far from the mind of calls was listed on Dec. 10, 2022. This suggests that it was discovered recently.

I can find no links to Rosy Poison's webpage out there, no other mentions of this fan project on the modern internet - so how did whoever made the listing learn of it? Did they do so by finding, in a bunch of used stuff or old files, a copy of the missing trial - or maybe, just maybe, a copy of the fan game itself?

Is the discoverer out there? Do they have a copy of either the trial or, is it exists, the actual game? And, man, could they get in touch with me if so?

Fake EtA: As I was assembling this post, I checked out the latest version of Rosy Poison's update page archive.org has available - updated in Dec. 2001 - which notes that the "online HTML version" of far from the mind of calls was in that update "deleted." Are they referring to the downloadable .lzh - which was still linked in that Dec. 2002 page capture - or was there a full HTML version of this game (minus voice acting, music, and illustrations, I imagine) at one point?

The update page also gives an early version of the subtitle as Tooki Kioku no Yobigoe, or Call of Far-off Memory.

  • Luigi holding green shell
  • Maleficent w/ Optimus Prime
  • inflatable riding chicken
  • inflatable riding pteranodon
  • classic Link + BotW blue outfit Link (but w/ green hat)
  • five witches w/ roving candy wagon. It was playing "Billie Jean" on a return trip and "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You" the next
  • Luffy enthusiastically carrying Straw Hat Pirates flag + Usopp w/ that sun mask he wears; later on, they had some unbranded pirates with them
  • pumpkin sweatshirt + pumpkin sweatshirt w/ hat and stroller + Red Riding Hood
  • a handmaid from The Handmaid's Tale? That's dark. This was a kid
  • friendly Dracula beanbag
  • a cowboy. Not notable usually, but this is in Maine, not notably cowboy country
  • inflatable Spongebob
  • inflatable unicorn
  • woman in fluorescent lime green fuzzy bear stole draped over her head + Kirby tee?
  • '60s hippie with excellent flower power color + mod hat
  • lite-up transparent umbrella w/ streamers that was unclear at first but turned out upon later inspection to be a jellyfish, since they forgot their googly eyes. The accompanying child had a sea blue towel wrapped over them, no explanation
  • child in disturbingly realistic Donatello mask with protruding middle-aged jawline
  • hunter, male
  • baby skunk (being carried)
  • family of bears. Watch out for the hunter
  • a bunch of female boxers in matching pink satin robes. Is this a reference to something? Unclear
  • Winifred Sanderson mom + sea turtle dad + baby pineapple
  • girl in yellow raincoat w/ short bright blue hair? I feel I've seen this design before but can't recall what it is. Joy from Inside Out? This was a longer bob, though. It looked like Coraline, but I don't think she's one for primary colors
  • a sea creature-themed costume with seaweed-color hair and iridescent blue tentacles at the bottom. She wasn't a sea creature per se but the costume looked good
  • inflatable mummy (off, being dragged)
  • mori kei Jedi (in beige sundress w/ sunhat + mushroom canvas bag) w/ rainbow lightsaber, take that
  • a young Sailor Moon
  • horse or jackal with flesh stripped from its face
  • man in hardhat + jumpsuit with a sign saying "OIL/TEL TRASH"???
  • cute little blonde pumpkin
  • Grim Reaper w/ fashionable robe in red + black
  • Hollow Knight
  • Demogorgon
  • inflatable sumo wrestler
  • pregnant woman in sweatshirt w/ little skeleton on stomach; I thought that was good
  • friendly blue baby robot that I thought I recognized but couldn't place and later realized kind of looked like one of PS3's dumb enemies
  • two Lokis side by side, which is show canon accurate, I suppose
  • tiny Charmander
  • two Apes from the famed Planet, or maybe just Professor Bobos, holding out pillowcases for candy
  • six of Snow White's seven dwarves, female and color-coded by neon-color stocking hat and tulle skirt
  • Mona Lisa & Leonardo + little tree & Bob Ross
  • beer, hamburger, pizza, taco, hot dog
  • two adults in deely-boppers
  • someone in a lime green pantsuit, glasses with thick red frames, and a shoulder-length blonde wig? I think they were mixing up Hillary Clinton with Sally Jesse Raphael
  • also, man, referencing Sally Jesse Raphael in 2023
  • lineman
  • red M&M + defunct brown M&M
  • Sans
  • gentleman ladybug w/ bowtie
  • adult Scooby-Doo standing on hind legs holding a poodle's leash; a Goofy-&-Pluto abomination against humanity
  • killer Jawa w/ red light-up eyes, black robe, & machete
  • inflatable...man in black? I don't know what this was. The costume had the some dimensions as the inflatable sumo, but it was completely black and featureless. I don't get it
  • something I wrote down as "eyeball Michael Reynolds"; it was a ribbed seaweed-color bodysuit in a Michael Reynolds silhouette with a bunch of eyeballs gathered at the base of the stalk at the top of the head. Could have been a monster from a '70s Sid & Marty Krofft show
  • hunter, female
  • that Michael Meyers costume from the first movie where he wears a sheet with his victim's glasses, combined with a Blues Brother (the glasses were sunglasses, they were wearing a black fedora, and the sheet was shiny silver)
  • hunter, late middle-aged male, w/ cat ears
  • there were actually a great number of people who came just wearing their hunting camo & orange as a costume. At first I thought it was just a lazy costume but then recalled this hadn't happened at all in previous years; I wonder if there were some sort of weird point being made
  • traditional Robin Hood
  • great-looking young female pirate w/ tricorner hat, smart skirt, & cutlass
  • Napoleon Dynamite? In this day & age? Plus the kid was like 8
  • Starfire? Long red hair + magenta superhero outfit says "Starfire" to me, but the hair was Raggedy Ann-red
  • Dad Shaggy carrying little Scooby-Doo
  • John Deere tractor stroller
  • Master Chief, still
  • peacock in silk cape with peacock feathers painted on it; this was cool
  • someone with a Ghostface purse
  • the two puzzle pieces from last year. Of all the costumes to make a reappearance. Come on
  • very small Jason; slightly larger Michael w/ bad Chucky-esque hair day
  • mummy animatronic being carried by somebody
  • someone walking backwards in an autumn-colored knit mask and orange felt shirt
  • old-school Luke Skywalker (this was a kid)
  • twin Alice in Wonderlands in matching sky-blue dresses
  • furry gray spider w/ red legs
  • toddler lions in circus cage stroller
  • guy in Harley Davidson riding gear with perfunctory tiny pirate hat stuck on his head as a conciliation
  • old-school Leia (this was also a kid)
  • a Boston Bruin
  • overheard: "'It's-a Mario!' It's just fun to say!"
  • a quite beautiful traditional flower princess, with a flower crown w/ veil in back and beautiful coordination of pastel colors
  • the chrome Ghostface variant; he must have gotten pretty far in the Battle Pass
  • mini Olaf the snowman, but in a traditional triple-snowball construction
  • two commercially-produced, almost totally-gray bodysuits very lightly printed that most closely resembled that spider-webbed corpse in the gym from the School Scissors case in World of Horror? I very much doubt that's what they were referencing, but the actual decoration on the bodysuits (worn by two different people in two different parties) was so faint that whatever they were referencing was incomprehensible
  • inflatable dino skeleton
  • I was missing the guy with a giant stick on his back from a couple years ago, but we got bush man: a guy who just stuck chopped-off, dried-up hydrangea branches all over himself. Actually, this may have been the same guy. Unclear.

This seemed, overall, like the Halloween that wasn't. First, Maine was dealing with the situation with the unapprehended mass shooting suspect right up to just before the holiday. I live over an hour away from where the shooting took place, and yet there were a number of businesses - restaurants, lumberyards - that chose to close for a bit, and a number of events that were rescheduled, just to avoid tempting fate and giving the still-at-large suspect more potential targets by allowing large numbers of people to gather. After that situation resolved, such as it did, there was a cold snap, with temperatures below freezing at nighttime. This didn't dissuade Mainers from Halloween entirely - you gotta learn to do stuff in cold & snow if you want to survive in the state - but it did ensure festivities drew to a close earlier in the evening than usual.

On the personal front, my costume (Medusa) was a pain in the neck - endless accessories, a number of things that didn't work, and one crucial accessory (contacts) that didn't come in time, plus a neckline that wouldn't stay put. I also missed the Halloween weekend parade & party at one of the small towns on the coast I usually attend, as they chose to hold it one week earlier this year. I tried attending a block party they had later on Halloween evening, but as I started to explore what I thought, in daylight, was a rather small neighborhood, I found myself coming across landmarks I didn't recognize. I then found myself lost, wandering around in below-freezing temperatures in a thin pleather jacket for two hours. By the time I got back to my car, I had literally lost fine motor control in my fingers from numbness. If not for directions from a middle-school girl who came up to me, complimented my costume, and offered me some of her candy, I would've been frozen dead on the pavement. So, thank you, kind middle-school girl! You saved Halloween, or at least my incompetent Gorgon hide.

Then I fell ill from the meal I had the next day to celebrate being back in a relatively warm environment to which I was properly oriented, so this article was put on the back burner. Here's hoping next year's better.